Grandma Peggy

For whatever reason, I think I've been avoiding writing out my thoughts about my grandma's steady decline in health over the last few months. Maybe if I sit down and write things out, I'm actually admitting that the end is nigh? Maybe if I sit down to let myself really ponder everything for a while, I'll realize that the emotions run deep and shake me. Maybe I'm scared of what my life will be life once she's not in it anymore. Who knows.

The long and short of it though, is that she's dying and according to her hospice nurse, she might be dying sooner than we expected. There's an evil, agressive tumor wreaking havoc throughout her body and ruining her quality of life. She's been in a hospital or nursing facility since September of last year. Her apartment has been emptied, her job has been filled, her car is being used by a family member, the life she'd built for herself is slowly slipping away one week at a time.

Through these circumstances however, she's continued to place her trust in God and has chosen to praise him. A few weeks ago we talked on the phone and she told me about how we all have a choice every single day to make it a good day or a bad day. We can take what we're given and do good in the midst of it or be downtrodden because of it. We should be thankful for each day and and choose to have joy even in the hard times. These are things I've learned from her for years now, but in the context of that conversation, the words rang loud and true like never before. For my whole life she's answered the phone by saying "Hello, God bless you." and she continues to answer the phone that way even today. She doesn't care about caller ID or who might be calling her number, she just wants everyone to know that God loves them before anything else. She chooses to bless others in that way.

As we ended our phone conversation today she said "I'm doing as well as I can for today." and I told her that all she could do was take things one day at a time." She said "I'm thankful for today too. I'm thankful that I'm getting to talk to you." My sentiments exactly.

Even in intense pain and what might be the darkest, loneliest times of her life, she continues praising her Jesus and giving thanks. I've had incredible lessons to learn from her over the years and right now I'm learning even more.

Peggy Joyce Collins Shearron is a magnificent woman and I'm so glad she's been in my life as long as she has.