The latch

A few months back I set up four breastfeeding goals for myself. I didn't share them with anyone, nor did I take them so seriously that if I didn't meet them, I'd beat myself up, but they were goals nonetheless. I'm proud to report that as of today, I'm halfway through the list!


Goal #1: Nurse Baby Z til she was a year old. Check!
Goal #2: Nurse said babe to the one year mark of her first real latch. Check!


I remember that night so clearly. It was a Sunday in the 7 o'clock hour. Blinn and Miles were out for a walk and I was trying to comfort a screaming baby girl. My nerves were shot, I was super emotional about the trials we'd faced with breastfeeding at that point, Zachari was two days shy of being ten weeks old... it was a crazy time. I'm still not sure what compelled me to try getting her to latch in that frantic moment since in the past, we hadn't had luck trying when she was already screaming and pissy. That night though, I tried and ohmygeez - she latched!!! She sucked... and sucked... and sucked for half an hour and I could tell she was actually getting milk! I wept. I hadn't cried like that since the night she was born. Overjoyed. 


When Blinn came home he found me sitting in the rocking chair with our daughter at my breast. I wasn't wincing in pain, she wasn't writhing out of frustration, I wasn't uptight and emotional. We were just there, together and at peace in that moment... the way it was meant to be from day one.


Its been a beautiful road this year and I'm thankful for the determination (and maybe a little hard-headedness) that pushed me to keep trying. Z and I are a team. We kinda rock.  ;)