With the exception of the three nights I was hospitalized, I have spent every day and night with my sweet daughter since she came home. I've loved that. I've chosen that. I am proud of that, in a way. But now the time has come where it would be good for the two of us to separate. I'm curretnly currently feeling pretty frazzled from baby life and I know Zachari would benefit from a slight change of pace. I'm not talking about anything drastic here, just one night where we don't sleep in the same house and one morning where she starts her day without me by her side.
This has been a long week. She's teething and as a result, has been unpleasant to be around. I don't blame her, I'm sure it hurts like hell to have a tooth break through your gums for hte first time. I've tried to remember that in moments of frustartion, but today's day five of clinginess, fussiness. There have been some moments where she's been inconsolable and so I have to let her scream it out. She kicks, swats, pinches, says "Nooooooooooo!" for no known reason. Its maddening, but this too shall pass. I can't remember ever having a week like this. Maybe in those first few months I felt similar to this, but I've blocked it out since. Maybe that's what happens as a mom. You block out the crazy times because if ya really remembered them, you'd throw in the towel on a regular basis!
I need sleep. I've felt pretty off for the last couple of weeks and having sleep issues hasn't helped matters. When I get good, solid rest I am a better mother, wife and friend. I chalk half of my recent funk up to fatigue which sort of scares me for when or if I ever get pregnant again. The first trimester was brutal without having to chase a toddler around and care for her and a house 24/7. Guess its a good thing I'm not planning to get prego any time soon. I have to get my life in check as it is now... or else!
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