An interesting day. 


Our first time back to Central Vineyard in six weeks. Several new faces. A new layout. Adrienne preached instead of Jeff. And yet it was familiar, comfortable, home-like. It was also pretty emotional for me, more so than any other time there. 


One of the opening songs, How He Loves, was quite moving. I liked singing that song at Brookside. I liked how Rob led it and I even liked how he yelled at the end... though while in BG I sorta made fun of him for it behind his back. As I closed my eyes, swayed from side to side and (tried) to hold 'Roo close, I found myself singing along into her ear. And tearing up. I had a sense of Truth in that moment like Yeah, there is a father who loves us so and I've experienced that Love. He's pursued me, He's been patient with me, He's bestowed more grace and favor upon me than I could ever deserve. In those brief minutes - and even now as I write - I resigned myself to those thoughts and emotions saying it was okay.


Adrienne's teaching was good. The scripture from Isaiah was different and spoke to me a little. (I'm waiting for confirmation on what the exact passage was...) At one point in her talk Ian stood up and hugged her - just loved on his mama for all to see. Precious. I was so touched by that and my heart grew so soft for the bond of a mother to her child. 


Jeff closed the service with an invitation to dine like he always does. There was an air of change about him though. He described what it is to drink from the cup and urged us to partake. He was passionate, sincere, simple. I considered going forward, even going forward for prayer. I didn't of course. Blinn pulled me in close and I wondered if he'd invite me to the table again, but he didn't. Just a tight squeeze and a kiss on the top of my head. It was tender and enough. It grew harder to hold back tears and I was so full emotion. Ian and Adrienne held each other and sang and swayed together, it was beautiful. I felt I was marinating in the presence of the Spirit. 


Oh. 
My. 
Gosh. 


I'm letting go as best I know how. I'm letting Him in. He is jealous for me, but maybe a little less jealous for me tonight.