Going under the knife

Its been five months in the making, almost to the exact day. 


Tomorrow I will finally have the much-anticipated, much-prayed-for, much-needed (I don't know if I need all those hyphens) Endoscopic Sinus Surgery! Never before has a girl been so excited to have a Roto-Rooter type contraption go up her nose. Bring it on, I say!


I've never had surgery before. Even when I had my wisdom teeth removed a few years ago I had a local anesthetic and could hear everything. This time though, I'll get the good stuff that knocks ya out completely and maybe I'll get what Wendy calls "the best sleep of your life". If I'm honest with myself I'm a teensy bit worried about the complications that could arise from a surgery. What if I have an adverse reaction to the drugs? What if they make the slightest wrong turn once they're in my sinus cavity and then I end up with no sense of smell or taste or something worse? What will recovery be like? Will Zachari understand that I need quiet and time to rest? Will she be good for her papa? Is Matt gonna let the house get messy over the weekend because he knows that bothers me and will I be a good patient for him or will my bitchy side come out? Blah blah blah. A woman's mind never rests. Ever. 


I've received much prayer (and some Reiki!) in the last four weeks and I truly believe, deep in the pits of my being, that Jesus is going to bring healing from these ailments. This surgery is just one step of His healing and in time, I will look back on these days and see where His hand was at work every single step of the way. Even though I thought I was supposed to have this done back in October when it was originally scheduled and then again in February, Someone else had a better plan in store for me. I don't have it all under control. In fact, I have very little under control and day by day I'm having to let Him control. Funny, I have to 'let Him control'? I know that's about as backwards as it comes!


I'm thankful for the quiet this afternoon as my sickly baby girl rests. I'm gonna snuggle up with a book, my journal and the Psalms and soak in this gift.