Call the Midwife

A few months ago I heard that a new show was coming to PBS, Call the Midwife and I set a reminder so that I'd be sure to see the premiere. I was so excited, hoping the show would become "my thing" that I watched each week. I was not disappointed. In fact, I was inspired and challenged by one particular story in the first episode. So much. 

The story of Conceita was interesting. She spoke no English, but had been living in England with her husband for years and neither of them could speak the other's language. Their love is the way they communicated and as you watched the two of them babble on in varying tongues, it truly was as if it was only love that they needed and all else faded away. Their love also happened to produce twenty-five (!!!) children and this pregnancy was moving along well. Midwives wondered if she might have pre-eclampsia, but I can't remember what they did about it. Around 32 weeks, Conceita fell at home and went into labor at thirty-something weeks. Everyone was preparing for a stillbirth or a child who wouldn't live long after birth due to their speculations earlier in her pregnancy. Her labor was awful, one of the hardest she'd ever experienced and her family, as well as the newbie midwife were left stupefied at moments over what was happening and what to do next. Finally, a tiny little baby was born, but the child was limp and silent. Conceita was bleeding badly, it was a grave site in that bedroom. She and her husband (as well as her oldest child) began to grieve the loss of the baby and feared for the matriarch's life. Then, all of a sudden, the babe began to move and then, started to cry! A miracle! Everyone rejoiced and even though Conceita was weak and exhausted, she too was joyful over her newest child. 

Midwives wanted to rush baby and Conceita to the hospital due to the bleeding, her fall, preterm labor, etc., but she refused. Refused. She said she didn't want to be separated from her baby for any reason and that where the baby was, she would be also. I mean, she just stood her ground and didn't give in. And then the beautiful, moving part happened: She told everyone in the room that she was her baby's hospital, that the baby is her blood and she is the hospital and she would not be separated. No way, no how! In the end, at home she stayed and she was never apart from her newborn. The next day she's seen giving the baby breast milk through a dropper that she's expressed into a little dish. Her husband looks at the two with immense pride and love fills the room. The midwives stand back in awe, I sat there on the couch weeping, it was incredible. As Kristen from Birthing Beautiful Ideas put it: "...I too was in awe of the sweet but not-too-saccharine portrayal of a woman's wisdom - and the fact that this woman's wisdom had nothing to do with how "well educated" or wealthy she was. She was just using brilliant common sense to figure out how to care for her premature baby."

Why wasn't I so brave, strong, determined when my Zachari Jane was born a little early and needed some medical intervention? Why was I so quick to let them take her to the nursery hours after she was pushed from my body? Why do hospitals set up such traps for new parents like that? Yes, we're sleep-deprived and emotional and confused and rookies, but don't use that to our disadvantage! Work with us, you fools and teach us how to care for our babies ourselves rather than rely on a damn bottle of crap formula or some stranger to care for our children. Grrr! If I could turn back time...

When I was in the CLC training this very issue is something I really had to work through and I didn't know it til then, but it is something that I carry with me as baggage from our birth experience. This time will be different. I don't want to be separated from Little One for anything. Mother's milk is often the best remedy and if I had known what I know now, would I have let Zachari be taken to the NICU? Would she have had to go at all or would her stay have been shorter? I'll never know the answers to these questions and I'm trying not to beat myself up about it, but its hard. Why are we so hard on ourselves sometimes. 

So, needless to say, Conceita's story hit home for me in a few ways and it was magnificently wonderful. If I gain nothing else from the rest of the series, I'll consider the show a fantastic blessing. 

Here's the first episode. I don't know how long it will be active on the site, but for my memory's sake, I hope its there forever so I can always be reminded of Conceita's bravery and determination.