A couple years ago I learned about Infant Loss and Remembrance Day and ever since its been something that I've been sensitive to. Of course I don't need an official, annual day set aside to remember sweet Pax since I think of him all the time, but it felt comforting to know that there actually was a day that other mamas and papas around the country would be remembering their children with us.
This year, October 15th happened to fall while I was in my 27th week of pregnancy. Ironic. Thankfully, though not intentionally, I had a routine check up scheduled with my midwife so I got to hear Little One's perfect heartbeat. As soon as the doppler was placed on my skin, we heard that galloping noise at an excellent 145-155 beats per minute. Miracle. Some months we have to search for the wee one's heartbeat, but today, he or she was ready for us and we got to hear him or her loud and clear from the start. Thank you, Baby.
In the couple of weeks prior to this one, I have asked for prayer for this specific week. I have full confidence that this child will be in the womb until the day the Lord says its time, not when a doctor thinks I should be induced. However, I still wanted prayer over this week, over our memories of Pax, over my dear husband and his heart. When we were waiting for Zachari, the thought of getting to 27 weeks haunted him. He didn't want to tell some people til after we got past that mark, he was fearful for what those numbers meant on the calendar and so maybe more for him than for me, I asked others to intercede.
As I type I'm having Braxton Hicks contractions and lil Thumper is movin' around in there as a gentle and sweet reminder of the gift of life I am fortunate enough to carry.
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