The first week

Z and Blinn are at Central Vineyard, Jonathan is swaddled on my bed and fast asleep. There have been very few times since he's been home that he hasn't been in my arms so I'm taking advantage of this freedom to record thoughts on the week. 

To be succinct, this week has been a long one. However, I'm sooooo thankful that I've been given the gift to experience such a draining first week of my child's life. With Zachari, she was in the NICU and we missed out on a ton. I didn't even realize all that we missed out on until Jonathan came. So many firsts with him that I didn't have with Z, ones that I won't ever get back. But this post isn't about that...

Things are a bit of a blur, but I'm gonna do my best to remember what the last week has been like. Lots of interrupted sleep - from a newborn as well as a toddler, lots of coffee in the mornings, lots of lounging in bed cuddling, snoozing Jonathan and I and just staring at each other. Its been beautiful, really. The nights at St. Ann's were decent. J wasn't super interested in nursing so I was able to get a bit of sleep - as much as is possible while in the hospital, anyway. The nurses left us alone for the most part and for once in my life the discharge process was swift and happened before I expected it to!

It was New Year's Day when we brought J home and there couldn't have been a more meaningful way to start out the new year. There was a blizzard the day we drove Z home, but this time around was less crazy and we got home by 10 a.m. Blinn put a roast, carrots, taters and 'kraut in the crock pot as soon as we got home so that we could stick to our annual New Year's meal and I soon settled into bed to snuggle with my boy. There I lay with him in the stillness of the mid-morning sun, topless with fresh new life nuzzled between my breasts. His breaths synchronized with my breaths, his sweet, unblemished skin daintily pressed against mine. Bliss. Those moments can never be replicated. No one can steal them from me. 

My phone's been silenced all week, I've been less distracted by Internet, no television. Its been wonderful. We started The Lord of the Rings trilogy, our annual thing, and its been entertaining as always. Lindsay was here for a few on Friday to pick up Zachari and Mandy came for about an hour that night to deliver a meal, but we haven't had any visitors other than them til this weekend. Blinn's done a fantastic job of protecting this time for me and our family. His support of bonding and breastfeeding has meant the world to me. 

Oh, how could I forget the first night at home?! It was maddening! I got a total of three hours of sleep, but not a consecutive three hours. No one told me that it'd be like that. (Side note: Also, no one told me that breastfeeding pain is worse with each kid because your uterus has to work harder to shrink down. Yowza! I breathed through the discomfort a lot, made lots of sour faces and even gripped onto things when the pain was bad. Ridiculous. Its passed now though. Whew!) We slept with the light on all night because Jonathan and I were a bumbling, dopey duo in the dark. Blinn was a good sport and would put his hand on the small of my back at just the right moment or he'd wearily sit up in bed next to me and I'd press into him. Pain, fatigue, uncertainty of how to care for J... The nights have slowly been better. We're getting through. 

On Thursday my milk came in and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I remembered from the first two kids. I was so thankful that my supply was starting up and within a few hours of nursing and giving him milk rather than just colostrum, any discomfort I felt with him at the breast lessened because he was less tense and was getting his tummy filled. 

Something sorta random to remember: The transition from meconium to breast milk poop. Good grief, is it smellllly! Its as if he was leaking that foul raw sewage smell day and night. I even called a lactation consultant about it to see if it was normal because its not at all how I remembered Zachari's poo smelling. Probably because I wasn't really with her much as it was changing. Grrr! Yes, its normal for sweet J to be as stinky as he's been and within a few days, it should be over. Thank goodness!

Over all, this week has been heavenly. This is how things should've been with Zachari and this is how I hoped it would go with this child. Blinn is home until Monday, the 14th and I'm thrilled about that! Here's to another good week of rest, bonding and good care.