Pointless post

Yesterday someone in the house across the alley from us got a shed delivered...

It was some stand-up-on-the-gate-and-watch-for-half-an-hour kind of excitement over here, folks!

What I don't do

I'm currently reading Shauna Niequist's Bittersweet and in it she has a chapter titled "What I Don't Do". Its inspired me to make a list of the things that I too don't do. I think there's some major freedom in a post like this.

Fold my clothes all of the time
Fold my children's clothes all of the time
Put away Matt's laundry
Dust regularly
Clean regularly
Floss daily... many days I don't floss at all
Get bikini waxes
Pluck my eyebrows
Keep cute scrapbooks of my kids (this blog is your scrapbook, babes!)


I think this will be a list that I add to as more things pop into my mind. 

Its okay that I don't do these things. I am freer for having listed them here, even if I'm the only one who ever sees this list. 

Cheap fun

Thank you, Dollar Tree, for the two squirt bottles that provide endless hours of fun for a measly $2.00.

Thank you, Freecycle for this wonderful water table.

And thank you, Aldi for the green kiddie pool for just $7.99. (pictured above, but hard to see.)

For less than $10.00 I've provided my kiddos with tons of outdoor summer fun which means that I've also provided myself with a slight reprieve from their toy-stealing, fighting, complaints of boredom and the general funk of being cooped up inside. Hallelujah!

The last day of school

Today marked the first last day of school that Zachari Jane will ever have. I can hardly believe it. One, because I swear it was just early September and she was starting preschool. And two, because its frickin May 14th and the year is already over? I am not happy about the length of the school year or all the snow days we had (and don't get reimbursed for or at the very least - get more days tacked onto the end of the year), but that's about all I have to complain about concerning our experience with Overbrook Preschool. 

The place is wonderful. 

We gave Mrs. Napoli and Mrs. Kurth some beautiful calla lilies as thank you gifts today and in their cards I wrote about how much Zachari's changed and how thankful I am that God placed her in their particular class. I couldn't have asked for more loving, patient, kind teachers to introduce Zachari to the classroom and school-like structure. She has flourished under their care and encouragement and they're going to make it really hard for any teachers next year to fill their shoes. 

I've been working on a 2014 Summer To Do List and since Z's officially on her summer vacation, I suppose its time to start checking things off! First up: Worthington's Touch-a-Truck on Friday morning. Both Zachari and Jonathan will have a blast!

And now to end this post, pictures... of course!

WHO is this girl? She looks so grown up!

They have my heart.

J and I arrived at school a little early so I could snap some pics of the daily routine like storytime. 

Left - Mrs. Tiffany Napoli, Right - Mrs. Katie Kurth. Such wonderful women!

To celebrate the momentous occasion we finally visited Sassafras Bakery in Worthington, a place Z and I tried to go to nearly a year ago! Even though there were so many months of anticipation, the bakery did not disappoint! The kiddos and I shared a snickerdoodle and an iced sugar cookie and because it was "happy hour", I got a free cuppa Brioso coffee to go. It was all fantastic. We were the only ones in the place, though the amount of cookie crumbs we left behind might've made you think otherwise. 

Walking back to the car I found a colorful bench on a brick wall which I thought would make a lovely backdrop for (another) photo session. These two hams didn't quite cheese for the Nikon like I would've liked, but the moments are fun to remember like this anyway!

Mother's Day

As J cries himself to sleep and Z chatters away as she plays with her MagnaDoodle, I sit here blogging. The daily Quiet Time. A needed time of rest for all three of us. Often something I look forward to, even count down the hours in anticipation of it. 

I complain about my children, my "job", the demands of life with little ones - a lot. More than I should. More than I care to admit. More than I want others to remember me for. The truth is that I don't think there's a heavier, more draining responsibility than mothering a child. Fathers are important too and I'm incredibly grateful for the father that my children have, but being a mother is a different story. We worry more, we know more about our children, we ache with and for them in a way that papas can't. It doesn't mean that moms are the greater parent of the two, its just that we're wired differently and because of that, I feel like this role is super rough. 

Know what else it is? Super awe-some! As in awe-inspiring, leaving your jaw open with wonder, thankfulness, joy and amazement. When I was younger and I dreamt of these days, my life with a husband and a home and small children calling me Mama, I had no idea what I was in for. There's no way to adequately describe what it its like to be given the beautiful gift of being a mother and for me, I've gotten to mother three children now. Only two of them are getting to know me in the day to day life, but all three of them have been nurtured, loved, cared for and valued by me. Children are a gift. Biggest understatement of the decade. For sure. 

Today has been a good day, a simple and normal day, really. Matt's in Bowling Green working on odds and ends at the house so its in prime condition to SELL and the kiddos and I are here at home. Central Vineyard this morning and nice enough weather to walk there and back. I coordinated Zachari and Jonathan's outfits just a little and they looked springtime-adorable. A simple lunch of last night's leftovers and this evening Matt should be home in time to grill up some delicious Whole Foods burgers. We'll have baked beans and a big salad and if I can get to Aldi before it closes, I'm thinking their $1.99 two slices of cheesecake will be a nice dessert. 

Its a gift for this May day to stand out as something more than just the eleventh. I am thankful and proud of the small humans I'm raising. They make my days interesting, my nights a little less restful and all the moments in between create a life that is so rich and full. 

And of course, some pictures...

Before leaving for Central, I asked Z to cooperate for photos... or else! She did, in her true diva style!

And then in her silly style.

Yes, I coordinated their lavendar outfits. Ahh - they're just too much! 

After service there was some monkeying around on the super-fun wheelchair ramp outside the building. Z's sporting the Mother's Day necklace/purse she made for me in her class. 

John McCollum snapped a few photos of the three of us and though this one isn't amazing because Jonathan's uninterested, it was the best of the lot. Go figure!

A selfie on the lawn before our walk home. Little did I know this morning, but J had a bit of a fever. I guess that'd explain his unenthused expression and very rosy cheeks. Mom of the Year, folks. Mom of the Year. 

Mom fat

Yep. I said it. 

Mom fat. (What a vulnerable post this is gonna be.)

I have it. My mom had it. Probably every mom on the face of the planet has it. That bit of pudge that you didn't have pre-babies. That extra layer of fat and skin that is a constant reminder of the you you are now, not the you you were a few years ago. That area of your body that you'd rather not let the world see, the part you suck in or hide behind certain pieces of clothing. The part that you're really uncomfortable with your lover seeing or touching because you feel so insecure about it. 

The last few nights as I've been nursing Jonathan to sleep, when he gets to my right breast, his sweet little left hand rubs my tummy. It wanders down my side, wraps around to my back sometimes. He flicks me a little, pinches once in a while, caresses in a tender way. He doesn't care what my body looks like. Its home to him, the place where he feels most secure. I'm the only one that can calm him a certain way, the only one that can nourish him like I do. He doesn't care about the extra pounds or the new curves or the stretch marks. He just wants to touch me and know that I'm there. His home base, his safe place. Its so sweet. So simple. Beautiful, really. This is a thing I'll miss when our nursing relationship comes to an end.

The mom fat. 

I remember the rare times that I'd see Mom in just her underwear and I remember almost pitying the way her body had become with older age. The photos I'd seen of her in her younger years were stunning, she was a knockout, I know why my dad was so head-over-heels for her. How very shallow of me, how outward-appearance-only of me. I was young. I cared what I looked like more than I wanted to admit and if I'm being really honest, I cared what my mom looked like and I wasn't so proud of her body as she got older and carried on extra pounds after carrying, birthing and raising us all those years. I'm not proud of this confession today, but it feels important to say so that when my children read this in years to come they know that I was human, that I had/have my insecure and selfish moments too. I want them to know that the grandmother they'll never get to know was a real woman. I'm sure there were parts of her body she wasn't crazy about and I bet there were times in her life where she compared herself a few times too many or said unkind things about herself more than she should've. But we are real women. Imperfections, extra curves, fears and all. These things don't make us less than, quite the contrary. I would argue that they make us great. Relatable. And I've already said it, but REAL! 

I'm not willing to just settle for how my body is right here and now, I want to be healthier for sure. I am slowwwwly taking steps to get there too. But in this moment, I am really trying to be more okay with how I am post-baby and how I'm aging. I like what Shauna Niequist says on page 184 of her book Bread and Wine: "I want to be the kind of person who makes peace with her body. Also, I want to fit into my pants. Not size-two pants. Not Barbie pants. Just, you know, very average-sized jeans from the Gap. I want to live with peace and confidence, without deprivation and shame, and while I'm being honest, I want to retire the maternity yoga pants that, unfortunately, I'm still wearing because they're the only ones that fit. I don't want to live by rules and regulations, but I also don't want to be ruled by my appetites."

No living by my rules or the rules that society tries to force upon me as a woman. No more being a slave to my appetites either. I am a work in progress and I'm covered by the grace of Jesus which makes me whole. 

Thank goodness.

Cuddle Chats

Lately Zachari has really craved quality, one-on-one time with her mama. I'm learning to see it as the sweetness that it truly is, the utmost of compliments, rather than how I started to view it: neediness, inconvenient, even a little annoying. Wait. Did I really just write those words? I am so selfish. My precious daughter, the one we call Baby Girl, she loves me. She misses me even when we're sitting across the table from each other. She likes me. And who am I to deny her some quality time away from the boys and distractions and the mess of a house? Its a GIFT that she wants to be near me. I am thankful. 

Matt's putting her to bed now, they're reading something from The Jesus Storybook Bible and they've been reading it every night since her birthday. She requests it each day and sometimes she wants to read something with me during the day before her bedtime routine with Papa. It amazing how much she's learning through the stories and just soaking it all up. Amazing!

Before bed though, she asked if we could snuggle. I stopped the to-do list in my mind and said yes. And man, am I glad I did! This is the fourth time we've had some time together like this in the last month or two. Its usually after a bath and always after jammies are on and Jon's in bed and there's no boys allowed! - her strict rule, not mine. We get under the covers in my room, turn the lights down and hold hands while we look at each other and talk. The first time we did this we talked about her body - the ins and outs of it, how God made her body to look just so, how she's perfect the way she is. We talked about her beauty - inside and out and together we dreamed of what sorts of things she might be into as she gets a little older. Will she like sports or maybe dance and the creative arts? Will she learn to like to get messy outdoors because of her little brother? Will she learn to ride a bike soon? As we laid there in the stillness of the evening light I saw her grow up right before my very eyes. There won't always be these precious moments with her. Soak it up, Kelli. Soak. It. Up.

The second and third snuggly times we were less serious, much more silly. We imagined silly toothpaste flavors like peanut butter and apple (for Papa, of course) or spinach and kale bites (for Brother, of course). I enjoyed hearing her come up with what were utterly disgusting combos and ones that might actually sell in a store. We also listed off all the things she could do when she gets bigger. A singer, a painter, a teacher, a mama, an astronaut, a chef, "someone who works at AB6 News, like Papa!". I reminded her that she can do anything, be anything, accomplish anything! We referenced the talk about how God made her perfectly and that her brain was so smart, so lovely, so miraculous. Those were fun evenings. 

Tonight we gave our girls-only moments a name: Cuddle Chats. We're official now. We discussed life when I was a little girl which turned into lots of specific questions about Grandma Jane and what she was like. Our time was great and I didn't get too sad, but there was a part of me that grieved the loss of Mom for my baby girl. She misses her, but the two of them never met. There are moments when its as though Mom is reincarnated through Z's facial expressions or 'tude she tosses around. Zachari is so curious about a grandma she'll never know, a mother-daughter relationship between me and her that she'll never witness and a chance to bond that's been stolen from her. It is what it is. Its okay, but for a brief moment tonight it really hit me that Mom is truly missing out and that Zachari is more and more like her all the time. 

Preschool parent-teacher conferences

On February 26th we had our second parent-teacher conference with Zachari's teachers. The first one back in the fall was pretty basic and I was almost disappointed at the lack of information about our girl. I had to remember though, that they were just getting to know her and there wasn't a whole lot to report on in the less than two months they'd all been together. This time around was different though, and the teachers were full of things to share. With each word that fell from their mouths, my chest puffed out a little bigger with pride for the sweet, bright, respectful daughter we're raising. 

Most days I think I'm completely sucking at the role of mom. I yell too much. I'm impatient way too often. I ignore Zachari's needs to take care of Jonathan or to sneak away to another room by myself for a few minutes. But in the context of the conference, I felt very reassured, like maybe some of the good days are adding up for something fruitful. Maybe, just maybe my little girl is growing up well and I'm doing a decent job. 

Maybe. 

She's right on track developmentally and socially and there are even a few areas where she's ahead of the pack. 'Atta girl, Zachari Jane! She is kind to her classmates, listens well to her teachers, she's responsible and a great helper. There are all things I know about her deep in my heart, but sometimes I can lose sight of them in the day to day living. When she's being disobedient or shows a little more 'tude than I like, I can be so easy to focus on the negativity of that moment. But its just that - a moment - and over all, she is a fascinating, unique, vibrant work of art that is constantly changing and growing. 

My girl is a gift. To be her mother is a gift. And to live life with her by my side is more gift than I could ever ask for. 

Things I love about motherhood

Walking into the house with a baby who fell asleep in the car slung over my shoulder.

The fact that I get to know them like no one else does. These moments will be few. One day they won't be the most real with me, it will be with someone else. I cherish this time. 

Deciphering their little languages when most other people just hear jibberish. But rest assured, Babies, Mama gets you.

Cuddling that they'll only do with me. 

Hearing them giggle in the next room for hours. They play so well together and love each other so very much. Its so great that I don't have to be there with them every second, but they actually prefer time with just each other sometimes. 

The way their faces light up when I enter the room, especially after being away from them for a while. 

Little chats on the phone.

Dance parties. Each wee person has their own distinct moves and its so fun to watch them evolve over time.

Their hugs and kisses. 

Knowing when their cry is one of whining, being hurt, being really sad or fake. Not even Matt can tell all of their many cries apart at times (and I sort of like it that way).

Watching them sleep. 

Sleepy faces right after they've woken up.

The way I can calm their fears and soothe them when no one else in the entire world can help them.

The cling-around-Mama-so-tight-with-arms-and-legs-like-a-monkey. 

This list is nowhere near complete, but a few things that to 
mind this afternoon. What a gift it is to be someone's mother. Its not all roses or easy or fun, but today I'm choosing to remember the good stuff. The joy. The reasons I keep at it day after day. 

The best of my day

The best of my day today was the half hour I got to spend with Zachari and her preschool class this morning. They were celebrating her birthday and it was so special not only to be there to celebrate with them, but to see her in her little world with her friends doing her daily preschool routine. All the kids were in line to wash their hands with Jonathan and I got to the classroom. One by one they were cleaned, found a seat at the miniature tables and had to wait patiently for everyone to be seated so they could all sing to ZJ. She took a seat at the head of a table, J and I at her side, and Mrs. Kurth lit the four candles on the fake cake that every child celebrates with and all together, everyone sang praises over my girl. She seemed a little shy, but sort of like she loved the attention too. Ha! After all, it was day three in a row of birthday festivities and at least that many times had she been sung to! She blew out the candles, a picture was taken (see below) and then they all said prayers of thanksgiving before eating their snacks. Grape juice and two "blonde" Oreos for each child. Freaking adorable. After snack time we moved over to the carpet for a story about bears (the theme for the day) and to my surprise, Z wanted J and I to stick around for it. More than happy to, Girlie! After storytime we packed up and headed home for the day. Such a fine way to spend half an hour of my morning. So thankful for the chance to be home during the day to experience the little moments like this.

Zachari has grown up so fast. She's come so far since September 9th when she started at Overbrook. I'm so proud of her and our brief time together this morning was another reminder of how amazing she is. I didn't know I could love a little lady so much. But I do... man oh man, I do!

The birthday girl

What a fun-filled, tiring, happy weekend we've had celebrating Zachari Jane. My girl is four years old today. I don't know how this is possible and yet I think I say something like this every year. The time goes by so quickly and in what most often feels like the blink of an eye, she's another year older... and so am I!

Yesterday we had Zachari's family party at Panera. We were probably the only people to host a four year old's birthday party such a restaurant, but I suggested it because I knew their community room was large enough (and free!) and girlfriend loved the idea! Here she is in the parking lot before we went inside with the bundle of balloons Papa picked up. I love the pop of color amidst the gray and rainy day.

We turned a lot of heads as we walked through the crowded restaurant with all those balloons, a bag of decorations, a baby boy in a stroller and a birthday cake!

Brother was amazed by all the balloons and for probably the first 20 minutes or so, he just sat in a daze, eating Cheerios and marveled at their beauty. He's been on antibiotics for a couple days now for an ear infection and respiratory gunk, poor guy. He was actually pretty clingy during the party and you could tell he just didn't feel well, but he was a trooper. He was happy to celebrate Sister and didn't make a fuss or whine about his own discomfort at all. 

 We all had a nice time together and as usual, Z was slightly spoiled with lots of gifts. Her favorite ones were a bathrobe, cowgirl boots and a cowgirl hat. Matt and I were downstairs before she woke up this morning and we heard her two little feet come down from her ladder, then scurry off a bit before coming downstairs. She needed to get her birthday morning attire on, apparently because this is how she appeared!

In the middle of hte living room floor she saw this, her gifts from us (and the Bells). We got her the sled, two dresses from Old Navy and inside the biggest box she found more dress up stuff, pictured below. She cracks me up in that photo!

After service we made a last minute decision to go to Bob Evans, another one of Z's favorites (she's such an old soul as far as her restaurant preferences, eh?). Here I am with her as we waited for a table...

And here's how Brother spent most of the time there: Coat still on, propped up in the booth against's Matt's coat and the booster seat we thought he'd sit in. Precious boy...

I love the innocent, beautiful-girl, sweet expression on her face here. 

With a few minutes to spare, Brother woke up and was super excited to learn how to blow bubbles through straw. Happy birthday to you, Sister!

Its been a great weekend and tomorrow Z will get to celebrate with her preschool class. This little lady who loves fiercely and rocks our world all the time is who made me a mother. She is my favorite. I'm so happy that we get to celebrate another year of her gift of a life. 

Maternal instinct

I'm thankful for that little thing buried deep inside me that I have no control over: maternal instinct. 

Its not something I can buy at a store or borrow from a friend. I can't inherit it from the women before me or learn it from the mom next door. Its something that I was born with. And lately, its been kicking into full gear and I've paid attention and my mom instinct has been right on. 

Thankfully, its February 1st which means the long month of Helluary 2014 is behind us. Holy cow, the sicknesses! Of course there's nothing that says we Blinns are out of the woods because its a new month, but I'm thankful that January is over and that we're moving forward. Every single one of us has been sick in the last month. Miserable. Flu, sinus infection, stomach bug, bronchitis, ear infection, walking pneumonia. Yep. ALL of those. I'm done. Is it late April yet? Usually by then the sickness has past, the flowers and trees are blooming and there's sun and warmth and joy! 

But back to the maternal instinct part... With Zachari, I didn't have a good feeling about a cough she'd had for over a month. The cough would come and go, but it had lingered for so long and I knew it wasn't quite right. Matt thought it wasn't anything to worry about, merely a cough that kids get from school, in the winter, etc., but that didn't settle well with me. I made an appointment for her on January 9th only to find out that the girl had walking pneumonia. No wonder! I knew it! I didn't know what specifically she had going on, but there was something in my gut that was yelling at me to take matters into my mama hands and get her some care! (I do feel a little bad for not doing it sooner, but I'm leaving the guilt out of this post for now.)

A few days later we had a conference at the pediatrician's office to go over blood work Zachari had done the week before Christmas. Again, tests that I'd requested to run because I just felt like something was a little off with her. Irregular sleep patterns, crazy lashing out behavior at times, overly emotional about things, frequent tummy aches and awful eating habits... I wanted to see what was up. Was it something environmental? Maybe gluten or dairy or something else? The conference was amazing. Our nurse practitioner Kristen (who might as well be a dear friend by now since we've seen her nearly every week since mid-December. No joke.) patiently and intelligently went over every blood test with me and explained what each line of the report meant. I felt so empowered from the time with her to know more about my girl and what makes her tick. She's not allergic/sensitive to gluten, but dairy is a no no for a while. As I suspected. She's positive for a certain somethin that makes her more prone to being sick more often. Makes sense as we look back on the last few months. She's deficient in zinc, vitamin D, calcium - as I figured she would be. The chemistry of her gut isn't quite right, we're working on that with removing dairy, daily supplements and probiotics, bettering her whole foods intake. Its a process. One that I am ready for, one that I knew down in my soul we needed to pursue!

And then this week Little One came down with something. Feverish on and off for a few days, lethargic, a little clingy sometimes, and then a cough and a chunkiness to his breathing that would unnerve most parents. I called the doctor's office yesterday, they got us in right away and sure enough, he's got what I'm calling "respiratory gunk". Not quite bronchitis or pneumonia or RSV, but just yuck. That, and an ear infection (explains why he's had his hand in his ear). Five days of antibiotics for the little guy and a couple doses of childrens' Tylenol and he should be good as new. That is, if I keep him and Sister quarantined for the rest of their lives!

I listened to the small voice in my head, the tugging on my heart and I got care for my children. I'm not tooting my own horn, I don't even know why I've made the time to blog about this. Its just something I guess. To be a grown woman who has procreated and is now responsible for this offspring and all of the million things that entails. I'm sure my own mom had a good bit of maternal instinct that kicked in a few dozen times and I'm sure it proved to be really helpful in the long run. 

Its a gift to get to be a mother. One I take for granted far too often. Am I really admitting that? Its also a God-given gift to have that little voice inside telling you to fight. I'm thankful. That's all. 

Brave

Hi. My name is Kelli... and I listen to Top 40 radio. 

Wow, how things have changed. To be honest, I don't even enjoy the top forty stations all that much, but sometimes I need a break from answering questions or whining or crying while I'm in the car so I blast some tunes. A while back I found that if I sing along to the music that comes on, both of my kids are quiet. I don't know if its just the music they like or if they actually like that I sing along. Who cares. I do it. Often. And I do it to songs by teeny boppers and hipsters because well, their stuff is catchy. Whatevs.

Zachari Jane and I really like Brave by Sara Bareilles. Today we found the video on YouTube and its so fun. Wouldn't you know that I sat there on the couch watching as Zachari was on the floor in front of me dancing and singing to her heart's content and I was crying? I mean like visibly crying, almost gonna make noises kind of a cry! Why? I was filled with so much joy and pride for the little girl I get to help raise in this world. She is amazing. She's funny and smart and caring and wise and a great dancer with a sweet little voice who just loves to love. I want her to be so confident in who she is and how loved she is that she can be like one of the people in the video. I want her to dance unabashedly in public and march to the beat of her own drum. I want her to stand tall with her head held high. The lyrics of the song are great. My girl is brave. My girl is going to be one who stands up for others and helps take care of them. She'll be a total game-changer in this world. She shows us all the time how big her brave is. I'm in awe.

So yeah. I listen to the song with her sometimes and we shout out the lyrics and when I do, tears roll down my face. Its alright. It fills me with such love and joy. My girl is awesome. How in the world do I get to be her mama?

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave...

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

What I accomplished today

Last March I did a couple of posts with the same title as today's because I felt like I needed to give myself a pat on the back. I wanted to remember the craziness of any given day as the SAHM of two. Maybe this year I'll do a few more of these posts. I think I'll look back on them and have a good chuckle one of these days.

So. In addition to showering, getting myself looking semi-decent for the day, clothing/feeding/changing/playing with/and all the other to-do's involved with a three and one year old, I:

• made a two-layer chocolate cake. From scratch.
• made a breakfast casserole in for the Bells' visit in the morning.
• made a loaf of banana bread.
• prepared a double batch of spaghetti sauce for tonight's dinner with Lisa and Katelyn.
• made taco filling for tomorrow night's meal after Jonathan's party guests disappear. 
• aaaaand I shopped at Aldi, with two kids when it was only NINE DEGREES outside and I came in under budget! Wha?

In these bodies, we dance!

Through Kristen Oganowski's Birthing Beautiful Ideas blog I came across this post. It kicks ass. Plain and simple. I hope the link is active for a very long time so I can refer to it for years to come. 

Out longer than in

Little One, 

Today you've officially been out of the womb longer than you were in it. You chose your 38th week of gestation to make your debut and today you're just a tad older than 38 weeks. I'm not sure how this is possible. Wasn't I just sharing the surprise news with your papa that I was newly pregnant with you?!

What a sweet babe you've been and what a blessed addition to the Blinn clan. I love you, Sweet Pea and I'm thankful you're out. (Even if some days I do wish I was still pregnant with you because I loved that time so much.) 

Love, 
Mama

Nighttime kisses

The last few nights as I've been up to nurse Jonathan I've been so compelled to kiss his sweet little body. Often. His cheeks that are full and firm. His forehead that's usually a little warmish because his room is stuffy. His tiny nose that's the perfect blend of my nose and Matt's. I caress his chubby thighs and calves that are so soft you could melt from just touching them. I rub his feet and marvel at how precious and sweet and amazing he is - literally from head to toe. I breathe him in as only a mama can and I give thanks for the miraculous gift of his life.

He's a wiggly, curious wee man and its not often that I get to cuddle with him. He will be all grown up before I know it and so its in these sacred, quiet moments that I am thankful I get to stop and breathe him in. Motherhood is a crazy gift - one I still don't feel well-equipped for or like I deserve it. And yet, for some reason, God has chosen me to mother two blessed children... Wow.

A day at the Wharton farm

Yesterday we got out of town for the day and spent time in Knox County which holds a special place in my heart for more than one reason. Lately its been special because its where Molly lives and I always love my time with her. This post is a story of our day in pictures. The weather was perfectly beautiful, the setting was serene and refreshing and the company was just what the doctor ordered. I'm already planning another visit back in the weeks to come!

I always wish I had more pictures of me nursing my children so I'm thankful that Molly snapped these two candids. The first one cracks me up. I bet Z looks on like that more times than I realize. Oh, sweet girlie!

Silly Shep and the massive sunflower he proceeded to demolish over the course of our time outside.

Chickens. So many chickens. My strange fear of too many birds all together at the same time is also true for too many chickens. I stayed near the coop long enough to capture a few photos and then I was out of there. I'm such a city girl sometimes!

Yeah, the day was as perfect as it looks here. 

Adorable two.

His eyes... Really? I am struck by them all the frickin' time!

Feeding the four hogs.

A big, beautiful garden full of life.

Aggressive, large and in charge Tom. He was caged for a reason.

The many names of Jonathan Francis

Almost exactly three years ago at this time, I was making a similar list for Sister and now I'm back with the ridiculous things we call my son. I don't know why I do what I do. Its a problem, really. Without further ado, the list...

J-Jon
Jimmy Jon
Happy Harvey
Harve
Jimmy
Jonny
J
Doobins
Buddy
Bubba 
Bub
Son
Little One
J-Dawg
Jimmy Ray
Jimmin
J Franc-is
Jonathan Francis Thomas (something Z made up which is funny because Thomas was in the running for a middle name... though Z never knew that!)
Coco Coco Blinn - this is used primarily by Rudy Perkins. When Z stayed with Rudy and Chelsea the night Jonathan was born she suggested that the baby's first name be Coco and the middle name be Coco. For whatever reason, its stuck with that family!
Huckleberry - occasionally John McCollum will call Jonathan this because when he was born and we put on Facebook that he hadn't been named yet, John thought Huckleberry Blinn would be a good choice.

I'm sure there are others that I'm forgetting and as they come to me, I'll edit this post. The list is long and ridiculous enough right now though, I'm pretty sure. 

Oh, Baby Boy. I hope you know your true name and why we chose it. You are our sweet love and our father in heaven knows you by name even more intimately than we do. 

World Breastfeeding Week: Days 6 & 7

To close out the week of my breastfeeding-themed posts, a little encouragement to anyone reading this who needs a pat on the back. We mothers can be all too critical of one another far too often. I know I'm guilty of this. What we should be doing, is building each other up, walking along side of each other reminding each other of the good work we're doing raising these small people. Its hard no matter how you're doing it - formula feeding, pumping breast milk, nursing from the breast, giving your babe a little bit of both - and its important to do our best. Always.

I'm thankful for the women who have walked this path before me and for the love and encouragement they've given me. I'm looking forward to being one of those wise women for other friends in years to come too. Let go of guilt, mamas! Embrace some love and joy! Hooray for being a woman and bringing forth new life!