Monday, September 6, 2010

When peace like a river attendeth my way

Yesterday, while the people of Brookside sang "It Is Well With My Soul" I drifted to another place. I was contemplating the tragedy that inspired those beautiful lyrics and I was really moved. I'd been emotional throughout that song before, but yesterday was different because I was not only holding my beautiful baby girl, but I was reminded that she was not my first born.

I don't pretend that my life's situations have been anything like the man who penned those words years ago. In many ways though, I've had to learn how to say that things - certain rather shitty things - were well with my soul. That's a really hard thing to do.

I'm writing about this tonight because I want to remember that yesterday as everyone sang that song around me, I held Zachari close to my chest, swayed from side to side and breathed her in. I literally breathed her in and it was one of the most magnificently peaceful, beautiful, healing things I've ever done. I cried as I inhaled deeply and lulled her to sleep. You see, she is perfection. She is my sweet, sweet child who holds my heart in the palm of teeny hand. I've been through a cruddy thing or two, but I choose to try and move forward from all that. I have someone else to focus on now, someone new to care for, and another reason to be thankful.

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