Small groups

Along with the new year, my little family and I started another something new for our rhythm of life: small groups through Central Vineyard (CV). For the bulk of our time BG we were without a church community and then when we did find Brookside, we never really settled into one of their Life Groups for long. It was important to Blinn and I that once we got to Columbus, we find a Jesus-followin' community that we could engage with. Thankfully, Central Vineyard has been our home from the first month we lived here and it continues to be a blessing for all three of us. 


The Boy and I are in a marriage group that meets every other week into the spring and we're reading Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage together. Its really good. The group dynamic is good and feels pretty natural to me and the content of what we're all working through together is good too. But as is usually the case when Jesus brings such "good" things to light, its also a swift kick in the pants. The chapters we've read so far have made me uncomfortable, have humbled me, have shed new light on how poorly I not only love my husband, but the One brought Matt and I together in the first place. I'm definitely being challenged and its a good thing. 


I'm excited for how this group will strengthen my bond with Matt and I'm eager to see how we put into action the things we're learning. Its becoming all too clear to me that I suck at application of things like this. I am working on it. My husband shows me grace... thank goodness! Last night we got into a long conversation about what we've taken from the book so far, our (often unrealistic) expectations of each other, our frustrations with life right now, and a host of other things. Again, it made me uncomfortable, but that's okay. I'm so thankful that I'm married to a man who talks, who shares, who listens to me. We don't always do things "right", but we are working on it and that in and of itself is progress. 


We're also in a weekly small group as a family and so far, so good. Surprisingly, that setting has been harder for me to settle into than the marriage group and I didn't think it'd be that way. I'm uncomfortable with the things that are assumed of me by being part the group: that I'm okay with prayer or healing or the laying on of hands, that I will openly share the deepest parts of who I am from the get-go, that I am really ready to dive in head first and do life alongside these people. I know I need to get over myself and this group is helping me do that. I need to work through and past my issues with God's abilities to heal the sick in this life. I need to enter into a state of prayer where my head and my heart are able to completely let go and surrender. He is bigger, so much bigger. I am relearning that very slowly.


Another thing that's been so great about CV is that Zachari is finally warming up to the idea of being away from us for a couple of hours and is playing with kids her age. On Sunday mornings I think she does more observing right now, but I'm okay with that. When she's in the childcare during our Sunday afternoon small group she plays with the others and has a great time. Lately, she hasn't even wanted to go home and that's really good news! She's growing up and its time she grew up apart from my hip every once in a while!


I've been meaning to get these thoughts out for a while now, I'm glad its done for now. Baby Girl fell asleep in the grocery cart around 10:30 and is still sleeping in her winter gear and stroller! I sure have missed my alone time during her naps.