I love my children.
I am so thankful that they're alive and healthy, smart, active, curious, and growing in the ways they should be.
I am humbled - all the time - by how hard Blinn works so that I'm able to be home raising Zachari and Jonathan.
And yet, wonderful and blessed as my life certainly is, today I'm feeling very trapped. Choked even. I feel guilty for saying these words, but I am human. I think I'm pretty normal, actually.
A little while ago Blinn and I had an argument and stupidly, it was stretched out over a couple of hours. He was super grumpy which made me grumpy and the sour way he interacted with me made me dish it right back. So much for being level-headed or the bigger person, huh?
When we stormed off from each other I got to thinking and my mind's been racing ever since. I don't want to take the time to type every little thought out, but I did want to take a moment to vent. I'm not perfect. This blog is never meant to make it seem like I am. I'm a flawed, pitiful woman trying to be a good mother, a good wife and a good person. I need posts like these for my sanity and to be as real with life as I can be. When I look back on this entry in a few months or a few years I will probably laugh it off, but its worth documenting in my opinion because its real.
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