Out longer than in

Little One, 

Today you've officially been out of the womb longer than you were in it. You chose your 38th week of gestation to make your debut and today you're just a tad older than 38 weeks. I'm not sure how this is possible. Wasn't I just sharing the surprise news with your papa that I was newly pregnant with you?!

What a sweet babe you've been and what a blessed addition to the Blinn clan. I love you, Sweet Pea and I'm thankful you're out. (Even if some days I do wish I was still pregnant with you because I loved that time so much.) 

Love, 
Mama

More photos from the birthing day

Such a perfect picture of my strong yet tender, loving, nurturing man.
He takes care of his family so well.

Well hello, Sweet Boy! Love this.

So tiny!

I remember saying to Matt "That's the farthest away from me he's ever been."
It was all of 3-4 feet away. 

Birth photography

In early December I had a conversation with Val of Happy Ely After Photography and she so very graciously agreed to be our birth and postpartum photographer. I was elated at the thought of having pictures to document the moment my son or daughter entered the world! Little did I know that sweet Jonathan Francis would enter the world rather quickly and Val would nearly miss the whole thing completely!

She gave us close to two hundred photos and its hard to pick just a few to share... so maybe I'll share more than just a few! (Some might be a bit graphic, but they're important because they tell the story in all of its raw beauty.) I wish she had been there for the actual laboring part, but we didn't call her in time because we simply didn't know things would progress as rapidly as they did. All in all, I'm really happy with the pictures she got and I'm so thankful for the images to help me remember the events of Jonathan's birthday. 

So, without further ado, photos from the afternoon and night of Sunday, December 30, 2012. The day we met our sweet baby boy.

L&D Room 10 - Where Jonathan took his first breaths outside of the womb...
& where he was actually born - just outside that bathroom door straight ahead!

A random, compact, excellent visit with the Harks!

The two bracelets all the girls made for me

 Love this.

Little One's heartbeat was in the mid-140s through the entire pregnancy

"Okay Love, see ya later! I can handle this, no need for you to stick around here right now."
Matt left to get dinner, tidy up at home, etc. and a little over an hour later I called him to come back.
I was in pain and wanted his help through contractions. Boy, did things pick up from that moment!

When Blinn went home, we sent Val home because we thought the Pitocin would take longer to kick in and we didn't feel the need for photos of the waiting game. We agreed to give her a call when I was dilated to 5-6 centimeters since labor often progresses quickly from that point. By the time we made the call, I'd chosen to have the bag of water broken and Little One arrived mere minutes later. The first photo Val took when she got back was this one: 

Disbelief that our babe was already here. Amazed that he had a son.
Shocked that the midwife tossed him a babe so fresh and new! I love that Blinn's expression
was captured in this moment, it says so much.

The first time I saw our boy.

The first time I touched sweet J

I'm amazed at how quickly a woman can switch into maternal mode. He was still attached and yet
I was trying to calm him down, shh-ing him and reassuring him that his mama was there.

The circus of women (and Blinn) trying to free Jonathan from all the wires that
were attached to me. Hilarious!

The hot potato is passed back to Papa as I tried getting onto the bed.

And there he was: Our son. We got to gaze at him together and laugh and smile
and weep with thanksgiving. So freaking beautiful.

This is the end of photography installment one... more to come soon!

The first week

Z and Blinn are at Central Vineyard, Jonathan is swaddled on my bed and fast asleep. There have been very few times since he's been home that he hasn't been in my arms so I'm taking advantage of this freedom to record thoughts on the week. 

To be succinct, this week has been a long one. However, I'm sooooo thankful that I've been given the gift to experience such a draining first week of my child's life. With Zachari, she was in the NICU and we missed out on a ton. I didn't even realize all that we missed out on until Jonathan came. So many firsts with him that I didn't have with Z, ones that I won't ever get back. But this post isn't about that...

Things are a bit of a blur, but I'm gonna do my best to remember what the last week has been like. Lots of interrupted sleep - from a newborn as well as a toddler, lots of coffee in the mornings, lots of lounging in bed cuddling, snoozing Jonathan and I and just staring at each other. Its been beautiful, really. The nights at St. Ann's were decent. J wasn't super interested in nursing so I was able to get a bit of sleep - as much as is possible while in the hospital, anyway. The nurses left us alone for the most part and for once in my life the discharge process was swift and happened before I expected it to!

It was New Year's Day when we brought J home and there couldn't have been a more meaningful way to start out the new year. There was a blizzard the day we drove Z home, but this time around was less crazy and we got home by 10 a.m. Blinn put a roast, carrots, taters and 'kraut in the crock pot as soon as we got home so that we could stick to our annual New Year's meal and I soon settled into bed to snuggle with my boy. There I lay with him in the stillness of the mid-morning sun, topless with fresh new life nuzzled between my breasts. His breaths synchronized with my breaths, his sweet, unblemished skin daintily pressed against mine. Bliss. Those moments can never be replicated. No one can steal them from me. 

My phone's been silenced all week, I've been less distracted by Internet, no television. Its been wonderful. We started The Lord of the Rings trilogy, our annual thing, and its been entertaining as always. Lindsay was here for a few on Friday to pick up Zachari and Mandy came for about an hour that night to deliver a meal, but we haven't had any visitors other than them til this weekend. Blinn's done a fantastic job of protecting this time for me and our family. His support of bonding and breastfeeding has meant the world to me. 

Oh, how could I forget the first night at home?! It was maddening! I got a total of three hours of sleep, but not a consecutive three hours. No one told me that it'd be like that. (Side note: Also, no one told me that breastfeeding pain is worse with each kid because your uterus has to work harder to shrink down. Yowza! I breathed through the discomfort a lot, made lots of sour faces and even gripped onto things when the pain was bad. Ridiculous. Its passed now though. Whew!) We slept with the light on all night because Jonathan and I were a bumbling, dopey duo in the dark. Blinn was a good sport and would put his hand on the small of my back at just the right moment or he'd wearily sit up in bed next to me and I'd press into him. Pain, fatigue, uncertainty of how to care for J... The nights have slowly been better. We're getting through. 

On Thursday my milk came in and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I remembered from the first two kids. I was so thankful that my supply was starting up and within a few hours of nursing and giving him milk rather than just colostrum, any discomfort I felt with him at the breast lessened because he was less tense and was getting his tummy filled. 

Something sorta random to remember: The transition from meconium to breast milk poop. Good grief, is it smellllly! Its as if he was leaking that foul raw sewage smell day and night. I even called a lactation consultant about it to see if it was normal because its not at all how I remembered Zachari's poo smelling. Probably because I wasn't really with her much as it was changing. Grrr! Yes, its normal for sweet J to be as stinky as he's been and within a few days, it should be over. Thank goodness!

Over all, this week has been heavenly. This is how things should've been with Zachari and this is how I hoped it would go with this child. Blinn is home until Monday, the 14th and I'm thrilled about that! Here's to another good week of rest, bonding and good care.

A prayer

God, 

You are good. 
I am blessed beyond measure. 
I am taken care of. 
I am full. 

Tonight I come to You as the mother of a third child. My sweet baby boy sleeps here on my lap, belly full of my milk, all of his needs have been met. So have mine. 

Thank You for the gift of life. I am humbled by all the ways You lavish Your Love upon us. You are good and Your love endures. 

The most pregnant I've ever been!

With Zachari, I only got to the 36 weeks and 4 days point in pregnancy and then her squirmy little self emerged from my body on that snowy February night. Never did I expect her to come so early or to be born at St. V's. Nor did I hope to have Pitocin and IVs, etc. but in the end it didn't matter because she was here and healthy. Since we were planning a home birth with a midwife at that time, we'd had our home visit at 36 weeks on the dot. Afterwards, we had an in-home photo shoot to document the belly. Little did we know, they'd be the last pregnancy photos we took in 2009. That was then...

And this is now! Today we're at 36 weeks and 5 days and lemme tell ya, that extra day means the world to me!

Perfectly timed on the Winter Solstice, Columbus got its first snowfall of the season and it was a beautiful sight. Matty Boy had the day off and made his daughter quite happy with the chance to run errands with just him and then play in the snow, even making their first snowman together. Its sort of becoming her M.O. not to be in the mood for the prego shots, but she sure was excited to say "Cheeeeeese!" this one of only her. Such a ham. And boy, do I love her.

Baby blessings

On Saturday dear old friends blessed me and Little One with a sweet little brunch to love and support us in these final weeks of pregnancy. It was fantastic and now five days later, I still feel so loved from those couple of hours together. Holly Rae came in from WV, Molly came in from Bladensburg, all of us girls (and little Edmund and Baby Boy Redcay) together made for a most enjoyable Saturday morning.

As has become tradition in our circle of friends, a beaded bracelet was created for me to wear from now through labor and delivery. The words of strength and encouragement they wrote on cards and read to me as their beads were strung on the wire have given me a boost to press on. I so value this tiny bracelet and the significance it represents. Women who have gone before me either in motherhood, significant physical trials and tribulations, or their own personal valleys. We are united in a special way. I'm so richly blessed when it comes to good friends. 

This looks a little fuzzy. Clicking to enlarge should make it a bit better.

Little One letter #10

Hello, you!

Yesterday we met with Dr. Amburgey and the regulars in the maternal-fetal medicine office and Babe, we got a great report! 

When we were there the day before Thanksgiving, the ultrasound struck a little bit of fear in your mama's heart when we learned your abdomen was a little behind schedule growth wise. At that time twice weekly NSTs were ordered in addition to BPPs and regular ultrasounds... on top of my other OB appointments, trying to fit in physical therapy and the chiropractor. Kid, you're a doozie and these appointments became like a part-time job!
Each NST was a success and the ultrasounds showed that you were growing, the fluid was at a good level, and you were doing a-okay. 

The pictures we got to see of you today were no different. Sweet Thing, in a mere two weeks you've gained an entire pound which currently puts your weight at more than your big sister's when she arrived at 36 weeks gestation. Goooooo you! We must be doin' somethin' right together, eh? That, and I know God's got His hands all over us and He is consistently reminding us that we are His chosen ones, that we are taken care of. 

We don't have to have any more NSTs for the rest of the pregnancy, we just have to have weekly BPPs and then I'll start seeing my OB weekly because we only have a little over a month to go! I'm so proud of you already, Little One and you're doing super well in there! In January your papa, big sis and I will be eager to touch your tiny face, but until then, you stay right where ya are. You can keep flipping and kicking and shifting my organs around til the day you're ready, my child. I'm so happy you're alive, well and thriving!

I just peed my pants a little

How's that for the title of a post?!

I wish it was just to be funny, but it is in fact, truth. I'm 31 years old and twice in this pregnancy I've peed my pants a little while sneezing. Yup. 

As much as I love pregnancy and as much as I value it as a gift, the truth is that its actually not smiles and roses all the time. Granted, I could have things much, much worse and I count myself quite blessed compared to many a woman and her ailments. But! Things have happened to my body throughout three pregnancies that I didn't know were possible and that no man will ever understand. This list is in no way exhaustive, but just a taste of what a prego body can go through to produce a tiny human being. 

• Leakage. My goodness, the leakage and the constant need for a pantyliner through the day and night
• Aches and pains - especially in areas where you didn't even know you could have aches and pains
• Cravings that are inexplicable to the point where you just have to "blame" the babe because nothing else makes sense
• Sensitive, bloody gums
• Tender boobs
• Stretch marks
• Hair loss
• Acne and other skin issues
• Nausea
• Aversions to certain foods/smells that were never an issue before pregnancy
• Extreme fatigue
• Organs and bones shifting to new places in the body
• Swelling - in places you didn't know could swell

And the list goes on! Its amazing how much a woman's body endures throughout a ten month pregnancy, but what comes from it (almost) erases everything. In the end, I'll end up with the teensiest person that is part me, part Matt and 100% a miracle. This pregnancy hasn't been easy on my body, there's no doubt about that, but I am still thankful. I'm already so in love with my son or daughter and once I meet him or her face to face, this list will be a distant memory. 

I'm so excited!

The Grand Illumination!

Last night was The Grand Illumination down at Bicentennial Park and along the Scioto Mile and it was so fun to participate in the fun with good friends!

The weather was insane. Barely a breeze in the air with the temperature in the 50s... on November 30th! It was wonderful! Lindsay, Chelsea and I piled into a Honda Pilot with our kiddos and braved the craziness that was the illumination scene and thought we almost lost our kids a couple of time, it was all worth it!

This was the beautiful view as we walked across the bridge towards all the action. 

Z's (self-proclaimed) future husband. I wouldn't mind at all if he
(and his 'rents) were in our family!

The lovely CV girls (and their boys) that I see the most often.
We had a great time together! 

Their cuteness is sort of ridiculous sometimes.