Throughout this pregnancy I've had several conversations like this:
Person: Oh, you're pregnant?! I didn't even know! How far along are you?
Me: 6 months, 7 months (whatever)
Person: Oh my gosh, you're so small! That's great!
Me: silently feeling paranoid that I'm small and this baby isn't growing as it should
In the past I've grown small babies, it just is what it is and when people tell me that I look small for how they think I should look for my stage in the pregnancy, it stirs up lots of emotions. I'm probably the only woman on the face of the planet who, when told she looks small while pregnant, doesn't like it. My past has shaped me, that's for sure. I try to take the comments from others with grace, but sometimes it just rubs me the wrong way.
Deep down I know that what others say doesn't matter. I know that God has this whole pregnancy in His control and He held this child and me in the cup of His hand long before any of us could even imagine. I know I'm healthy, I know this baby is healthy so deep down I know it doesn't matter. But sometimes that doesn't click and I can focus on others more than what is Truth.
And then there's my husband. He knows my body better than anyone does and he knows just as well as I do that I am NOT small! He's always reassuring me that I am the size I need to be because our baby is growing the way he or she needs to be. He's right. This child is perfect and the weight the babe is gaining is perfect, as is the weight I'm putting on. I'm thankful for the way my body looks in this phase of life. Its a beautiful thing to grow larger as you grow a child and its a gift that I am so honored to have been given.
While out running errands today he must've stopped me half a dozen times to kiss me, tell me how beautiful I am and marvel at the ways my body is changing as we wait for Little One's arrival. He is a gem. I get embarrassed by his loving attention sometimes, but my gracious, its precious. Not every husband is so good to his pregnant wife. Not every man finds pregnancy attractive. Not every girl gets to feel as special as I do while I carry a child. I'm blessed and today, this amazing, sunny 66˚ November day, I give thanks for the gift of a husband that the Lord has given me. I love you, Matty Boy.