Advent message

The message I wrote in most of the cards we sent out this month read something like this:

In this season of Advent may you be filled with excitement, anticipation and joy! As we eagerly await Little One's arrival, we have a renewed sense of hope for the new and beautiful things to come. That same hope to you, friend, and may it take root in your heart and consume you. Blessings for a most happy new year and a Christmas that is merry. With love, The Blinns.

Its simple, yet profound to me. I am again pregnant in the blessed season of Advent and this year more than any other, I'm touched by the significance of how my story is similar to that of Mary's. I'm not carrying the savior of the world, I'm not going to give birth amidst livestock, but I am full of excitement and anticipation for the beautiful gift of life that flutters inside of me. I don't at all think its a coincidence that we've conceived our children when we have and I've been pregnant during the Advent/Christmas season. I'm a little hard-headed at times and perhaps its this third time that's the charm because it makes sense. 

On two different occasions today I heard the story of Mary who traveled the hillside to visit with her cousin Elizabeth who was also pregnant (with John the Baptist). Apparently, when Elizabeth saw Mary approaching her, the baby in her womb leapt with joy because he already know that the baby Mary carried was in fact the Christ King. Elizabeth was first to call Mary the Mother of God and in her characteristic humility and grace Mary says: 

The Visitation

"My soul magnifies the Lord

And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior;

Because he has regarded the lowliness of his handmaid;

For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed;

Because he who is mighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his name;

And his mercy is from generation to generation

on those who fear him.

He has shown might with his arm,

He has scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.

He has put down the mighty from their thrones,

and has exalted the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has given help to Israel, his servant, mindful of his mercy

Even as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his posterity forever."

-The Magnificat

Thank you God for Your Word. It's speaking volumes to me this season.

Embrace the Camera

Because of the lovely toddler stage Zachari's in, its not often that I get to be in photos with her because she simply will. not. cooperate. I want to participate in Embrace the Camera each week, but it doesn't usually happen. However, on Christmas Day Matty snapped some photos of me and the girl together and while they're not amazing, I do like them. 

In anticipation

The table is set. The dishes are washed. The punch bowl is set up. The house is (mostly) tidied up. The pork is ready to bake. The potatoes are sliced, peeled, ready to be mashed. The ingredients for stuffing are measured out and ready to be combined. The laundry is drying. 


Only a few more things to do tomorrow to get ready for Shearron Family Christmas. I'm looking forward to hosting my first family holiday, but there sure is a lot of preparation that goes into something that should be pretty simple! That's always how it is though, isn't it? So much goes into meal planning - the menu-creating, the trip to the grocery store, the cooking of the meal - only to have the food devoured in a fraction of the time it took to get to the plate in the first place. And for the cook? All that planning and anticipation builds up to just a few moments as everyone gobbles up the goods. Holiday meals and large gatherings only magnify this reality. 


Tonight as I was wrapping up my list of things to get done, I started to think about anticipation. The anticipation of a tasty meal, the anticipation of Christmas, the anticipation of a babe that would be placed in a manger. I doubt there was any disappointment in the air on the night that Jesus took his first breath. Just like there was no disappointment about when my Zachari Jane made her first peep that February night. I'm reminded that the things I trouble myself with, the things that fill my time and often make me uptight, simply do not matter. Easier to say than to believe, definitely. Nevertheless, I'm trying hard to truly bask in the warmth of the anticipation of Christ this season and in this late night moment, I'm thankful.

Advent activities

For the last couple of weeks I've been working on an Advent calendar for the fam. I got ideas from Martha Stewart, Pinterest and some crafty bloggers and came up with this. 

It caused me a little more strife than I would've liked and took more time than I expected, but now that its done and on the wall, I'm really happy with the end result. I found a cheapo canvas at Big Lots that Blinn covered with (free) burlap from Stauf's. The boxes are decoupaged with cute papes from a new holiday stack that I got and the number stickers were all ones I already had. I used a 1 1/2" circle punch for the circles and the cutesy ribbon is one I saved from Christmas 2005. It was part of my gift from the boy and I've cherished it ever since. And the chunky ol wine bottle cork the whole thing hangs from? From Korbel, where we visited on our honeymoon. I love the whole thing and I'm already looking forward to pulling it out for years to come!

Each box has a little slip of paper in it with the day's activity leading up to Christmas. Since Z is so young and she needs to do something to hold her attention, our activities are slightly fluffy, but get everyone excited and in the Christmas spirit. As time goes on, I'd like to have each box filled with an act of service or kindness, teaching my kids that Christmas isn't just about what is for you under the tree or how many sweets you can consume or getting to wear fancy new clothes. What will be really cool one day will be to see what activities the littles come up with on their own. Here's hoping that my dreams for this simple little calendar aren't set too high! 

Here's what we'll be doing this month and it been lots of fun already.

Get Christmas books from the library

Make paper snowflakes

See lights in Gahanna, deliver toys to Toys for Tots

Make ornaments, Advent gathering

Drink homemade hot chocolate from decorated holiday mugs

Make table decorations for Shearron Family Christmas

Go to Mrs. Claus' Workshop at Franklin Park Conservatory

Go to Main Library to see holiday train display

Watch Love Actually

See lights at Scioto Mile, decorate gingerbread house

Shearron Family Chritsmas, Advent gathering

Make treats for neighbors

Make Christmas cookies

Drop off gifts to Clintonville Resource Center

Make Chrismas sock puppets

Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas

See zoo lights with Mosleys

Decorate giant gingerbread man, Advent gathering

Make handprint ornaments

Make goodies for solstice party

Make thank you notes for Christmas gifts

Winter Solstice Open House

Make hand/footprint reindeer

Watch Christmas Eve on Sesame Street, Bettinger Family Christmas, go to service at Vineyard

At Vineyard today I read their statement about Advent which reads: " The season of Advent is a time in which followers of Jesus anticipate the celebration of Christ's birth on Christmas Day. While many are caught up in the consumerism and pressures of the American holiday season, our church community endeavors to slow down and reflect on our need for God, His Love, His Mercy, and how we might reflect that love to the world around us. Our Advent focus in 2011 is Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace." 

'Nuff said, if you ask me.

Birthday brownies & an Advent wreath

It has been 1095 days, 156 weeks, 36 months and 3 years since I held my son in my arms. However, the number that's most upsetting out of all those is the amount of time we spent with him: less than 6 hours. Why didn't we take more time? Why didn't we take more pictures? Why isn't he here with us, alive and well?


With each year that passes since that dark night, the pain stings just a little less and the hollow feeling is a little less hollow. No matter how much time goes by we'll never forget him and we'll be forever changed by his short, sweet, precious little life. 


As November 27th approached this year I took comfort in the fact that it was also the first Sunday of Advent. In Landing Place days I came to appreciate the season of Advent and began to confront the Christmas season with more meaning than I did as I was growing up. After Mom died I threw in the towel on Christmas celebrations. Decorations, Christmas songs, a tree, buying gifts? Forget it, it all felt meaningless, painful and wrong. Its mostly been bahhh humbug for me while my husband was full of jolliness, but he gave me space and time and now I'm finally coming around. I attribute much of my change of heart to my little girl because seeing the world through her eyes, especially this time of year, is magical. God might have a little something to do with the change too, I suppose. ;)  So, three years after Baby Boy was born, my heart and mind are in a fresher and freer place. Thankful. 


Last week I mentioned to Blinn that I wanted to do something special on the 27th each year, but I wasn't sure what. He agreed and we brainstormed all week long, but didn't come up with anything that felt significant enough. We decided that next year would be the first year we started do something annually because rushing to choose something just for the sake of choosing something wasn't necessary. 


On Saturday and Sunday we talked to Zachari about her big brother and told her that his birthday was coming up. She likes birthdays so she was pretty engaged in the conversation. On Sunday afternoon Z and I made birthday brownies and we put a 3 candle in them and let her blow them out. She said his name several times and said it with a smile. Its beautiful to watch the wheels of her mind turn and to hear her sweet voice utter his name. 


And then dinner time came. Bekah called to see if we'd want to share and Advent meal with her. Our answer was yes, of course, and the meal she made us was delicious. Zachari went to bed shortly after we ate and we three adults finished off the Moscato, indulged in the birthday brownies, and shared in an Advent reading. We lit the first of the four candles and stayed at the dining room table only lit by that one candle the lights on the tree for what seemed like hours. Matt and I got to re-tell some of our story from that November week and share details about our son. We talked about where Bekah was at this time three years ago - another reason to give thanks for new beginnings - and the conversation was rich with life. Hope. Love. 


In the midst of deep sadness and loss, Matt, Bekah and I all found healing three years ago (and continue to). I am thankful for the gift of new days, new beginnings and a renewed spirit. 

Early-morning reading

Today I woke up around 4:30 a.m. to pee. When I crawled back into bed and snuggled up next to Blinn's warm body I couldn't get settled to save my life. After tossing, turning and trying hard to get back to sleep, around 5:10 I got out of bed for the day. Unheard of for me, but whatever. I quickly found the book I've been trying to read for the last two weeks and cozied up with my Snuggie and got a couple hours of reading in. What?! When's the last time that happened? It was great. 

A couple months ago Favorite Blogger wrote about how excited she was that this book had arrived in the mail. I was intrigued by the book's title and cover photograph. I reserved it from the library knowing hardly anything about it, but trusting the recommendation of someone who's thoughts I tune in on regularly. Today was the first chance I had to really dig into the text and well, its great. I didn't expect the book to be so God-centered, nor did I expect to like that about it, but its just what I need in this season of my life. I found myself jotting down quote after quote and reflecting on my own life so much that I made an impulse buy on Amazon and got a copy for m'self! I'm excited to get a little package of my own in the mail in the next week or so... and to really tackle the hard concept of living fully right where I am. The idea of being thankful for all things and living a life saturated in gratitude. This will be a process for sure.


Its fitting that I'm reading this now, a time of giving thanks and anticipation for good, new things to come. Sunday will be the first day of Advent, a time in the Christian calendar that Blinn and I have really come to love. I feel differently about Advent, Christmas and God-things in general this year. I'm thankful for that. 

Holiday preparations

I'm feeling pretty good at the start of this Thanksgiving week. At a time when many are frazzled and hurried, I feel relaxed, well-prepared and in control. Let's hope it stays that way, eh?


Last week I got Christmas shopping out of the way. I was thrilled to be able to have money to give gifts this year. Last year was rough in the Blinn household and no Christmas gifts were exchanged, but this year we're in a better place financially. We're just exchanging gifts for the littles this year which meant getting gifts for our two nephews and niece. I found lots of fun stuff and could've bought lots more. We might do a couple other small gifts for special people in our lives, but that will most likely be online shopping so for the most part, I'm done with the craziness of stores for the year!


On Saturday I got supplies to make an advent calendar and our Christmas cards. If I believed in reincarnation I really think I'd come back in the next life as some sort of paper crafting thing. I could walk through aisles of 12"x12" scrapbooking paper every single day and not get tired of it. Put me in an aisle with stamps and fancy pens and paper punches and embellishments? Shoot, you better have lots of time on your hands because I can take for.ev.er. And oh, how I love Martha Stewart's craft line at Michael's. Again, I got some fun stuff and could have bought a LOT more.


This morning Z and I made dough for Gingerbread Men Cookies - some to snack on, some to use as Christmas tree ornaments. We also made the dough for Glazed Butter Cookies that we'll take to the MacCaugheys' on Thursday evening. On Thanksgiving morning (for my family's get together) I will make Green Bean Casserole, one of the simplest dishes to make. For Blinn's family meal on Friday afternoon I will make a new recipe, Apple-Cranberry Crisp.


The tenants who lived here before us left behind their 6 foot artificial Christmas tree so that's crossed of our list of things to do/get! As much as we'd love to have a real tree, it doesn't make a lot of sense for us this year and since there's a freebie in the basement, we're using it. I'll buy a candle scented like a live tree and all will be well. In addition to the tree, the peeps left about 8,439 strings of white lights. Score! I'm hoping to decorate outdoors in the next week or two and then get our tree up in early December. We've kept our decorations simple in years past and I like that. The items we've chosen to display have gone a long way as far as inducing holiday cheer.


He doesn't know it, but I bought the husb a small Christmas gift that I'll be readying for the next few weeks and if there's time, I hope to make him something m'self. (Ha! If there's time... Z has no concept of time as it relates to others beyond herself! The only reason I'm able to type this out is because she's currently in her booster seat at the table making a mess with drips of water from her water bottle. Meh, who cares?!)


Sunday is the first day of Advent and thanks to Landing Place days and the traditions deeply rooted in Blinn, its one of my favorites from the Christian calendar. As we continue to move towards the day of Christ's birth I want to focus - extra hard - on the things in my life that bring me joy and peace. Something that's bringing me joy and peace today, albeit rather shallow, is the fact that I don't stress at this time of year. For the last few years its been less and less about the commercialism of the months of November into the beginning of January and more about the true meaning of the holidays within those months. As we raise a little girl Blinn and I are ever-aware of how key it is to teach her the importance of Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany and I hope we're on a good path of doing that.